Two For The Illusionist Please...

Triple G had some discount movie passes that were soon to expire so we decided to go see The Illusionist last night. He was running a little late, so I went into the theater and got the popcorn and soda. By the time he arrived the scheduled start time had passed, but we were well within previews time. Triple G turns in his passes, asks for two tickets to The Illusionist, hurries upstairs, hands off the tickets and the ticket taker directs us to Theater 2. We run inside and take our seats. The previews seem to go on forever. We start to get nervous. The movie's company logo comes on screen and it's Paramount - we get more nervous. The affiliate company logo comes on screen and it's MTV. We had just sat through the previews for Jackass: The Movie 2. We curse, get up and exit the theater in a dash. I walk over to the guy and tell him he was wrong and that The Illusionist isn't in Theater 2. He checks his crumpled little paper and tells us that we are correct and that it is in Theater 11. Apparently he was reading Roman numerals notes Triple G. The man instructs us to take the elevator up one flight. We wait...and wait. It doesn't come and the man instructs us to go downstairs and take it form there. So we have to go down to go up? We go downstairs and wait for the elevator...and wait. At this point I wander towards the ticket counter and the manager passes. He asks if we need assistance. I tell him we were directed to the wrong theater and need to get to Theater 11 on the third floor. He looks at me blankly and says there is no third floor nor a Theater 11. Perfect. By now we've missed too much of The Illusionist (assuming it actually was playing there somewhere) and ask for a credit. The manager is more than happy to comply. We hand him our tickets and he glances at them. They say Jackass: the Movie 2. He asks us who sold his these tickets and Triple G responds with a flat "you did." The manager apologizes and gives us free vouchers good until 2008. We start to head off and he stops us. Are you going to take that with you he asks, refering to the popcorn and soda? I look at him in disbelief. Well, we paid for them didn't we? And so we head out to the street, popcorn and soda in hand. I note that the irony is pretty thick, to which Triple G responds, Jackass: the movie indeed.